All is well

I got my results yesterday. I have improved Alhamdulillah The difference may not be big, but I am thankful for the improvement. I promise myself I'll do better for next semester.

I need to send my laptop for repairs because there's this big crack on the screen. Now I'm using my sister's laptop to update this blog. I thought of sending it for repairs today but then I suddenly lost motivation to do so. Tomorrow, InsyaAllah.

It's a bit sad that I have to do things on my own now but that's okay. I will get used to it again. I'm not going to talk about how sad I was and everything because I don't want to be nostalgic about my pain anymore.

Cliched as it may sound, everything does happens for a reason.

When I look back at the person I was a year ago, and the person I am today,  I have changed in some ways. I've become more matured in situations and I've started to look at things rationally rather than emotionally. When I do that, everything makes sense and I don't feel so bad about things anymore. It's easier to accept.

Although, I can say that sometimes it gets hard (like yesterday) and stubborn tears suddenly fall and that is something I can't control. What I can control is how I act. I'm also trying my best to change the way I think. What I've learnt throughout the year is that we can't change or control the way people treat us. They are the way they are because of reasons. Sometimes people just don't realise how severe their actions can affect people. They only think about themselves and their own happiness. We can't control the selfishness they have. These people can't change overnight.

I've often forgot about my happiness just to make the people I love happy not realizing that I am destroying myself. I forgot that I have a say, and that love doesn't work that way. There's give and take. Words are cheap and they don't mean anything when their actions are the opposite of what they said.

Most of the time I wondered if I was playing along all these while. Somewhere along the line I lost myself and I let anything happen to me and I let them do whatever they want to me, and saying things that make them happy and stuff like that.

Despite / inspite of everything, I'll have the brightest smile on my face. All is well.

Till next time, take care :)